10 Updates You Will Never See On Twitter, Facebook or Plurk
- Currently sleeping so please do not disturb.
- Just robbed a bank — don’t think much of the getaway car.
- Wondering why prostitutes are soooo expensive.
- Attending my funeral — a good turn out.
- Managed to smuggle 1kg of cocaine via Heathrow. Awesome!
- Digging tunnel to aid escape — thirsty work.
- My fake passport seems to have done the trick!
- Never realized that specimen pots were so small.
- Digging a shallow grave for the mis’ess.
- Just committed suicide – bye x
Add your own in the comments.

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